mindful

Nov

2021

Never Been Here Before

I’M DOING MY BEST TO SHOW UP FOR EVERYTHING IN LIFE. BUT THE TRUTH IS, SOMETIMES I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.

There, I said it.

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing.

Like absolutely no freaking idea.

And that’s ok.

Cause honestly, I’ve never been a Mum to a 9 and 7 year old before.

I’ve never been in a relationship with the same person for 15 years before.

I’ve never been 41 before.

I’ve never had a business that earns as much as this one does.

I’ve never mastered reels.

I’ve never navigated homestay orders while a virus dictates government decisions.

I’ve never had to wear all the hats I do now, in the way I do now.

I’ve never before taught yoga and felt really truly deeply good at it.

I’ve never before felt this way.

I’ve never had this many tools.

I’ve never had the level of recovery I do today.

I’ve never ever been right here, in this moment that is now ever, ever before.

NEVER.

There’s a lot of firsts happening right now.

Some of them full of joy.

Some uncomfortable.

Some downright painful.

Some are just well, you know, whatever.

All of them offering me something should I choose to take a mindset that allows that.

I’m not beating myself about this sometimes not knowing what I’m doing thing. Because honestly, like I’ve just said, I’ve never been here before. Never.

How could I have? Here has never even existed before. And I’ve never been this me before this moment.

And that’s the thing. We gotta keep meeting ourselves where we are, with what we’ve got. Meeting life and our relationships with what they’re presenting, with the best of what we’ve got.

And so sometimes, when we don’t know what we’re doing, that’s absafuckinglutely ok.

So, if you’re feeling like this too sister, I see you. I got you. And if feeling like this is messing with your head I invite you to connect at emma@emma-mccann.com

Nov

2021

The Perfect Moment.

I was waiting for the ‘perfect moment’.

That sweet place where four children where playing happily, without conflict, without needing me for long enough that I could share with you what I was burning to share.

And that moment never came.

TBH, I wasn’t expecting it to. But I kept it in the back of my mind, waiting, JIC it did come.

Cause yesterday, I was celebrating hard.

Not because any one big thing had happened.

There was no lotto win

no house bought

no fancy new car.

I didn’t have a new outfit, a new toy, a new client.

I didn’t have a new plant.

Or an earth shattering orgasm.

I wasn’t celebrating a ‘single’ thing.

I was celebrating a cumulative effect of many many increments.

Increments so small that at times I didn’t even notice them.

Increments so big they were sometimes immediately obvious.

I was celebrating all the ways I’d shown up for myself in a container of coaching and counselling with my coach Johanna Parker.

All the ways I’d grown, shifted, changed, emerged, stabilised, solidified, clarified.

I was celebrating ALL.THE.THINGS.

Except there were too many to list in the one session.

I cannot begin to express in this moment, this one post, all that I received from this work. It was layers and layers amidst a lifetime of relinquishing layers.

One thing I know for sure, for absolute sure – and I say this as a person who has had therapy for the past 15 years and worked with a different coach each year on something or other for the past 4 years – that you are absolutely safe. Held. Met, with all that you are and all that you bring to the container of work you’ll do with Jo.

All of it.

All of you.

Held. Safe. Seen. Acknowledged.

No matter how big, how small, how joyful, how ‘ugly’.