Sex positivity is a social movement that promotes and embraces the diversity of sexual expression without judgement.
Sex positivity views sex, pleasure and bodies as natural aspects of being human and encourages respectful, consensual and shamefree sexual exploration and expression.
What is sex positivity?
Sex positivity says that engaging in sexual activities between consenting parties is healthy and an important form of pleasurable. It extends this to solo sexual pleasure too. This doesn’t mean everyone should or will want lots of sexual activity, but it means that sexual pleasure isn’t something to be ashamed of. Sex positivity helps us reset any programming we may have about sex and sexuality to recognise sexual pleasure as an important and valid part of our overall wellbeing.
Sex positivity emphasises the importance of a comprehensive sex education, safer sex practices and informed consent.
There’s no pinnacle of what it means to be sex positive. Instead, we’re continually expanding our positive relationship with sex.
Fundamentals of sex positivity
- Consent: Good sex and satisfying intimacy start with enthusiastic, clear consent. Consent is constantly malleable. Clear consent might mean having a conversation prior to sex, having a ‘safe word’ and honouring boudaries. Good sex has a tendency to make us want more good sex and good sex has consent built into it.
- Curiosity: Curiosity helps us stay out of judgement. By keeping an open mind we can lean into new ideas and practices that intrigue us, or open our understanding. This helps us learn about and appreciate our desires, boundaries and bodies in new ways.
- Diversity: Sex positivity celebrates the range of bodies, sexual identities, relationship styles, desires and extends to cultural differences that make us all human. Appreciating diversity in sex and sexuality means not locking ourselves and others into ‘normal’.
- Communication: We only know what we know and we don’t often know what we don’t know. In sex and sexuality this might mean our experience of sex is really narrow or really broad and communication is really important to keep lines of dialogue open and help us learn more about ourselves and others. Communication helps us hear from others which might expand our points of view, reduce isolation and confusion and increase confidence.
Everything we do to improve our positive attitude towards sex matters in the sex positive movement, just like it does when unpacking other privileges.
Benefits of sex positivity
- A sex positive culture means we stop questioning our own ‘normal’ because our focus becomes what is normal for us instead of ‘am I normal’ and ‘are my desires normal’
- Sex positivity allows us to relax about our s.exuality (because we’re not in a state of anxiety about engaging in sex, our bodies and what is ‘normal’).
- Sex positivity challenges stereotypes and is more inclusive of diversity.
- Sex positivity also challenges our language so that sex related words aren’t used negatively such as it’s fucked, that sucks and so forth.
- Our desires are more easily satisfied because sex positivity gives us inherent permission to like what we like and talk about it and try it.
- We can have consent and pleasure based conversations so much more easily because that’s considered normal.
- Everyone would receive a comprehensive sex education (the best kind).
- Reflection questions:
What are your thoughts on sex positivity? - What difference would it make to you personally to live in a sex positive world?
- Can you think of one thing you could do to expand your sex positivity?